There’s a place you can always go back to. It’s not a room. There are no walls, no floor, no ceiling. No limits. Maybe this place is in your mind, or all around you — or both, infinite. It’s where you were born. Not the You that you call Self, that appears in pictures and mirrors. The real You. The You that came into this world with an idea, or a mission. Maybe with a single question.

Lately I keep going back to this place and I remember — experiences and dreams, many of which don’t seem to be mine, memories equally familiar and alien. Perhaps the innocent imagination of my childhood returns, reclaiming its place with figments and forgotten truths. The other day, I dreamed of a swinging pendulum and remembered the day, many years ago, when I got lost gazing at one.

Back then, my grandfather eventually pulled me out of my paralysis and spoke about resonance. I was mesmerized by what he told me, still looking at the pendulum. He talked about this moment when everything is possible, and the smallest thing you do can have the biggest effects. Then he tipped at the metal sphere which made the pendulum swing much higher, and he said this is how everything comes into being.

It took a while before the enigmatic scene faded into the memories of my teenage years. Nonetheless, since that day I’ve been trying to fathom what my grandfather had said. What he really meant. He hadn’t just the usual meanings of ‘resonance’ in mind. He was not that kind of man — despite his being very much down-to-earth.

I’m not sure I have an answer. Maybe there is no answer — not in the common sense of ‘answer’. Quite possibly, there never is. In spite of everything we think we know, there are scores of phenomena that defy ‘rational explanation’, whose ineffability seems to be an intrinsic part of their make-up.

Time, for instance, or consciousness. Or gravity. It’s easy to ignore the astounding scarcity of answers, pretending that to understand the mechanisms is somewhat equal to comprehending the essence. The meaning. The possibilities. Maybe this universe is inherently non-mathematical? I suppose as long as we try to think in certainties or mistake probabilities for certainties, we won’t begin to grasp what we call Reality.

I believe there’s a ‘Resonance Zero’ — a state of potential in which infinitesimal changes effect everything there is and cause it to be in perpetual flux, rendering time meaningless. Like this place you can always go back to. Where you were born.

In Lak’ech.

Jonahh Oestreich
November 2014